NIP IN THE BUD

 We hear disturbing stories like: an acid attack victim fights for life; another loses her eye sight; a tiny tot of just five raped and tortured; a three year old girl hurt badly with bites and wounds all over the body; a twenty-three year old gang-raped, and so on. Granted that these are abnormal acts and call for psychological treatment of the man but one cannot just let go such inhuman acts under the excuse of psychological aberrations. These are social ills and need to be corrected if we want a healthy society.

Women are vulnerable, yes! But that does not mean they should be treated shabbily for their gender. The fear generated by sexual attacks has been summed up by a writer thus, “Every time I close my eyes the nightmares come, they attack me over and over and over again until dawn. He is strong, I am weak, he has all the power, I have none. I am like a puppet in his hands.” This feeling of utter helplessness leads to depression, fear and trauma.

Despite stringent laws on paper, crimes against women are on the increase. The reasons should be searched in the society and community. Statements like “zero tolerance”, “nation is shamed”, or comments on women’s dressing-up are meaningless and cannot solve this multi-faceted problem which needs an over-all shake-up of the social psyche.

·       Patriarchal mind-set which sees woman as an object of desire, as man’s possession, as a weakling who can be treated as per one’s will is the first cause to continue violence. Intensive training and exposure to gender sensitization and the fear of severe punishment are needed.

·       Secondly, globalization and consumer values have tilted our basic value system, and pleasures of the flesh have gained an upper hand over the values of propriety and impropriety. Woman who comes out of the home is belittled as “easily available.” The male members must understand that women are human too and have right to freedom of choice.

·       Thirdly, the fear of law has diminished, the law enforcing machinery having lost their credibility in the wake of corruption rampant in the society. The new mind set seems to say, “oh, chalta hai. Kar lenge manage.”

Girls and women need to be alert too; they must break their silence. As feminist Paula Fordham asserts, “We have been silenced by shame and fear. We have been silenced by those who are supposed to protect us. It is time that we are heard.” So far, violence against women was a hush-hush affair for fear of shame and social stigma but if we want remedy, we must speak out. The woman need not hide; it is the criminal who should hide for shame.

Bhanwari Devi spoke out and her famous “Vishakha case” became instrumental in framing law against work place harassment. Mukhtar Mai of Pakistan came out with her story of gang rape despite threats and brought in major changes.

Mazumdar says that acid attacks, though not fatal, are worse than murder, and should be judged and punished as a special category. Victims are condemned to living out a life sentence behind dark glasses and veils, subjects of pity – initially – and, later, disgust, loathing and revulsion.
Recall Kafka`s “Metamorphosis”.
Prison sentences for perpetrators amount to denial of justice if one were to go by the principle that  ” the severity of punishment should match the heinousness of the crime”. What is a few years of imprisonment as compared to the living hell which their victims are doomed to endure for the rest of their lives ?
The principle of Lex Talionis ( an Eye for an Eye ) richly deserves to be invoked, condemning the attackers to the same fate as their victims by administration of acid in identical areas.
That would probably serve the ends of justice, and act as an effective deterrent.

Violence against women is pervasive and needs concentrated efforts to eliminate it. Law can act as a deterrent but awareness can lead towards amelioration. The media can play a powerful role to sensitize the society. Men must know that women’s equality does not snatch away men’s rights, nor is it meant to start a battle between man and woman. It simply means giving women their due, to recognize their special potentials and qualities and ensure respect for them.

Few people start with rape or acid attack or murder. It starts with a small boundary-violation. A sexually charged inappropriate comment. Staring that goes beyond what's polite. Objectifying statements that are left unopposed and so on.

It's only when people learn (from those around them) that these small transgressions are acceptable, and perhaps even cool, that a subset are emboldened to take one more step, and one more, until the end-result is sexual harassment, sexual assault and rape.

A million cat-calls turn into 10000 gropings turn into 100 rapes and murders.

The best cure is to nip it in the bud early. Years before rape happens.

The guy on the street who shouts "Hi sexy !" after a single woman who pass, he'd stop doing that pretty soon if his friends clearly indicated that such behaviour ain't welcome. "Hi, cut it out, it's embarassing, don't be an idiot." But if instead, they are supportive and treat him as if he did something cool, he's very likely to do it again, and there's a risk it will escalate from there.

Everyone focus on the horrible stuff: the rapes and murders. That's where it ends. But it's not where it starts.

It starts with "Hi sexy !"